There are some weeks where I just find it very difficult to concentrate, this should have been one but it wasn’t. I’m not sure that this is the best week to start a new blog, but perhaps it is actually perfect. Monday of this week we lost Sparky the family dog. We didn’t lose him so much as it was time to put him down.
He was fifteen and a half years old, and had been an absolutely great dog – at least I would assume since he was the only dog I ever had. I knew that it was time to put him down when at four AM on Saturday night I was awoken by an intense scratching on the stairs upstairs. Sparky’s legs had started to give out on him, he was lying on the floor and unable to get up. He -I believe- had been there a while, and was fully in panic mode. I picked him up and took him outside; he always seemed to calm down outdoors. His heart was going a mile a minute and I really feared for his safety. As it became apparent that he wasn’t going to be able to left alone for any amount of time, we knew that it was time.
I am kind of fearful that we waited a while too long to put him down. By the time he died Monday his legs were going -he had arthritis in both hips, he was the better part of blind, a little bit more deaf, he had colitis, and was generally becoming unhappy. I can honestly say without much doubt that it was time.
One of my big concerns was that he would not understand, or would be angry. I’m not sure that he really got a solid grasp on what was happening, but I do hope that he wasn’t angry with us. We really did love him dearly. I am going to miss him an awful lot, probably more than I thought that I would. I realized a few days ago, that I was missing more the dog that he used to be rather than the dog he was at the end. I think what I liked most about him was the humanism to his personality. He had a gamut of personality traits -some tied to his sign; the stubborn Taurus- but the most endearing would be his ability to be annoyed. Waking him up while he was trying to sleep did not bring anger but rather a look of disdain, I will miss that; perhaps strangely. I will miss his love of tennis balls, his love of water, and his intense fear of swimming. I will miss an awful lot, but most of all knowing that no matter what strange breed of idiocy had caused me to become upset he would always be concerned, his love was unconditional. Great dog.
Anyway I guess this is welcome to my blog, and goodbye Sparky.